Capitalism may be safe for now...

Well, it was a valiant effort, as Barbara Ehrenreich reveals in this Report From the Socialist International Conspiracy. Ehrenreich's entire post is well worth reading for its detailed and serious analysis of our economic and political situation, but here's a snippet to get you started:

First, we selected a cadre of crusty punks from the streets of Seattle, stripped off their Che T-shirts, suited them up in Armanis and wingtips and introduced them to the concepts of derivatives and dental floss. Then we shipped them to Wall Street with firm instructions: Make as much money as you can, as fast as you can, and as soon as the money starts rolling in, send it out to make more money by whatever dodgy means you can find--subprime loans, credit default swaps, pyramid schemes--anything goes. And oh yes: Spend your own earnings in the most flamboyantly gross ways you can think of--$10,000 martinis, fountains of champagne--so as to fan the flames of class resentment.

These brave comrades did far better than we could have imagined, quickly adapting to lives of excess and greed punctuated only by squash games at the Century Club. But we could not have inflicted such massive damage to capitalism if we hadn't also planted skilled agents in high places within the government and various quasi-governmental agencies. When all this is over, Phil Gramm, for example--the former senator and McCain economics advisor--will be getting a Hero of Socialism award for his courageous battle against financial regulation. That's the only name I can name at this moment, but I will tell you this: If you happened to have been in a playground in the suburbs of DC any time in the last few years, and noticed an impeccably dressed elderly man poking around under rocks, that was a certain Federal Reserve Chairman, looking for his weekly orders from the central committee.

Ehrenreich goes on to explain how a counter-coup by Goldman Sachs capitalists has put the entire plan at jeopardy. But there is still one presidential candidate who could help the socialist conspiracy succeed, as she reveals at the end of her report.

Unfortunately, if this analysis is accurate, the capitalists are out of danger.

As for myself, I am off to the Herland Fall Retreat.

As for you, if you get a weekend, I hope you enjoy it.